i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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