I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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