i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
