Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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