This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
