Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
