escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
