So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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