TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
