I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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