and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
