I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize