Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
