What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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