I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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