oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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