Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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