so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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