Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
