hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
