He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
