when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
