Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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