Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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