i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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