dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
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why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
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Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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