what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
