Have you finally orgasmed yet?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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