you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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