We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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