I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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