i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
