Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
50% drunk capacity currently
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
