end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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