Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Pants are for mortals
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
