Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
