Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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