Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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