my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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