im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
