I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
