i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
