Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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