and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
