No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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