wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We need to get me chipped asap
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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