just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Everyone says I win the strip club
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
