i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
