I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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