He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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