Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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