so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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