Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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