and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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