32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
