i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
