Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
When are your genitals available?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
