Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
