I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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