Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
