I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
