I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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